Birth Story

Tuesday Evening- After Cervidil was applied

Upon admittance I found out I was already having contractions!

Waiting for a Baby!

Pat's sleeping accommodations!

do you think we brought enough stuff?

before the action got started on tuesday night

excited

pat getting settled in for a low key night...

Not for the faint of heart...

I still can't believe it is all over with. After months and months of waiting and anticipating what labor and delivery would be like, planning and reading and talking with other mom's, he's here! I loved being pregnant and the 9 months flew by (except at the end of course when I couldn't wait to meet him). I can honestly say that my experience with birth was just as amazing. I will preface this story by saying truly nothing goes as planned. I learned so much about my strength and myself during labor and I learned a valuable lesson. Sometimes it is best to forgo "the plan"....

As you know I had to be admitted to the hospital Tuesday night (10/19/10) in order to "get ready" for induction the next morning. After 41 weeks of pregnancy and 13 days overdue I was ready to meet my son although as previously discussed I was heartbroken that I had to be induced. Over and over again I have discussed my wishes for a natural childbirth. I hired a doula and read so many books about birthing that I could tell you more about female anatomy and labor and delivery than most. Let me just say from the moment that I checked into the hospital nothing went as planned...and I feel great about that.

My doctor told me that I would be admitted at 8 p.m on Tuesday the 19th and would probably have Jack sometime in the afternoon of the 20th.  On Tuesday night, I would have Cervidil applied to my cervix so that it could "ripen" for delivery. He explained that I would take a sleeping pill and wake up ready for the induction the next morning. Sounds fairly easy, right? Upon arrival at the hospital I was checked to find out how far dilated I was. I was STILL only one centimeter and didn't have anymore softening. The nurse inserted the Cervidil and gave me a sleeping pill. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get comfortable. My body felt weird and achy almost like I had the flu. I tried to keep quite so as not to wake Pat, but I had to keep shifting around in bed. I felt so much pressure to pee but couldn't get out of bed after the first two hours the medicine was applied. So I laid there counting down the time. Finally at midnight I was able to get up and go the bathroom. Apparently Jack was ready to come on his own (which I didn't realize at the time) because by 1 a.m. I started feeling more and more achy and super crampy. I just figured it was from the procedure of the putting in the Cervidil which was mighty uncomfortable. By three a.m. I realized that I was in full force labor. From one o'clock on I was having "cramping" anywhere from every 2-5 minutes. There was no early labor, 15 minute apart, contractions here!

Pat helped me work through these contractions until 7a.m. I was moving around the room, leaning on him with my arms around his neck, bouncing on the birth ball while leaning my head on a pillow and breathing through each contraction and letting go of the excruciating pain.  Pat was running in and out of the room re-heating rice socks to apply to my stomach and back, but I was beginning to feel extremely worn out and nauseous. I knew that I was going to be sick. Around 3:30 or 4 I started getting sick. I was rocking back and forth on a birth ball while straddling a trash can (not my favorite memory of birth). Things were very blurry during these early morning hours of labor and many things were running together. Pat said that at some point my eyes were rolling back in my head and I stared speaking in a really weird low voice. Perhaps he thought I had become possessed by the natural birth demon! I am pretty sure he was wondering what we had gotten ourselves into.  Somewhere around 5 a.m. I found that making a deep, low, moaning during a contraction helped a lot but it didn't stop the fact the contractions were 2-4 minutes apart. I felt like I had no time to recover from one contraction and get my baring before another one would hit me. At that point I knew it was time to text my Doula and tell her I needed her there IMMEDIATELY! I don't know how I managed to text her, but I mentioned that they hadn't checked my progress since 12 or 12:30. I thought for sure I was 4 or 5 cm dilated.  I found out that my nurse was delivering a baby next door and so intermittently other nurses would come in to find me a mess and offer things...but I couldn't tell you what those items were.

It seems like shortly after I called Michelle (my doula) she was there. Right away she jumped into help Pat and try some other strategies. She did lower back massage, mother's hold and suggested I get in the shower and try and relax. Sometime soon after she got there my nurse came into check me. We found out I was only 2 and 1/2 cm dilated and Jack was still sitting at a -3 station at 7:30 a.m. I couldn't believe it! I had been laboring hard since 1 a.m. and had only moved 1 and 1/2 cm and he hadn't come down any. The nurse that took over at 7 a.m. was amazing! She really listened to how I was feeling and evaluated all the options for my induction. She explained that she couldn't start my Pitocin because my contractions were all ready very close together. My doctor came around 9 am and was frustrated that my nurse hadn't started the induction (even though I was already in labor!). He decided to help my progress we should break my bag of waters and insert an intrauterine-pressure catheter (IUPC)in  order to monitor the intensity of my contractions. The gush of water was huge you could literally hear it gushing out! "Good" contractions range between 60 and 90 and mine continued to monitor in that range. I was beyond delirious at this point and only remember being freaked out by my lack of progress and the doctor's constant reminder that without progress and with a broken bag of waters I would need a c-section if the baby wasn't here by 6:30 or 7. I just kept thinking: "Geez, it's 9 o'clock in the morning why are you already planning for the worst case scenario".

The pain was so intense and since I had to be induced and have internal monitoring a catheter had to be put in place. This made the pain unbearable. I tried breathing through the contractions while laying down but the pain was getting to be too much. I also hadn't slept since Monday night since the sleeping pills they gave me on Tuesday night at admittance didn't work while in such pain. By 10 (now nine hours into labor) I knew that if I didn't get some rest there was no way I would have the strength to get through the next 8 cm and then push. I decided that although I originally wanted a natural birth it wasn't worth risking my health (by being exhausted to the point of needing a c-section) and not being able to even remember my son's birth due to the state of delirium I was in.

I was in the midst of a BIG contraction and moaning/breathing through it when the anesthesiologist showed up with the epidural. I remember her saying in the middle of my breathing, "Hi, did someone ask for an epidural here?" and I said "Moan, Moan, Breath, Breath, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Moan, Moan." Out of the corner of my eye I saw the nurse put my birthing ball in the closet and sadly sad, "Goodbye Birth Ball..." and all my intentions for a natural birth. I was sad, but I knew it was for the best and I knew it was the right decision for me. I was so lucky to have the support of Pat and my doula reassuring me that if that is what I wanted I should do it.

The process of getting the epidural was a breeze compared to the pain I had been in. All it felt like was a little pressure in my back. The more painful part was trying to get through back to back contractions while holding perfectly still and not twitching at the feel of the anesthesiologist's cold hands on my back.It was all over in a few minutes and laid back down hoping to feel some relief and get some rest. I knew it would allow Pat to get some rest as well and I took comfort in that too. The anesthesiologist said the pain would subside in ten minutes or so...and it did, but only on my right side. I thought, "Oh, I thought the epidural would make me feel like I got dental work done on my whole body, but I can still feel the pain. I won't be completely numb." My doula started to see that I was still having to work through the contractions and we realized that the epidural only took on one side. It was now 11 a.m. and my nurse still hadn't started my Pitocin (as she was waiting to up my pain level until after my epidural took effect). Even thought the doctor had told her to put it in at 9 a.m. we decided to wait and place the catheter and the Pitocin in after wards. In the next few minutes I was having the epidural taken out and put back in a second time. Thankfully getting through the contractions was only 1/2 as bad as before. Ten minutes later....

THINGS WERE AWESOME!!! A wave of comfort came over me and since I was so exhausted I knew I would finally get some rest. The nurse checked me again and I was making a little more progress but only 3 cm by one in the afternoon. Two hours later I had been in and out of napping and was ready for her to check me again. The baby was still sitting up very high -2 station and I was only 5 cm dilated. The doctor came back and explained that things should really being moving at least a centimeter an hour and although there was no signs of stress on the baby there was some concern as to what was hanging him up in there. After almost 12 hours of labor he still was sitting fairly high up and even with my bag of waters broken there wasn't enough pressure from his head to dilate me any further. {Insert more serious talk of c-section here from the the doctor and more confusion about why he was rushing me if there was no stress on the baby} He further explained that he would come back around 6:30 and if I was still not making significant progress that I would be getting a c-section.

I really started to mentally prepare myself for this outcome. I was so disappointed, but I knew that I didn't want to wait till the baby was in distress to take action. I didn't understand why he wasn't moving down even though the nurse kept increasing my Pitocin. I was so worried. On top of my worries, my whole family had arrived at the hospital. Seeing all my family and the worry on their faces made me break down in tears. I was so happy that they were there and they reassured me that  a c-section would result in  a healthy baby. Which is what we all wanted. At 4pm, Pat told everyone to wait outside and that I needed to take a serious nap and relax.

Even though I had the epidural I hadn't slept much. I closed my eyes here and there throughout the day, but my mind was racing too much to sleep. Prior to my nap, my doula tried acupressure in order to increase my contractions and try and get Jack moving. She worked on that for over and hour and I was worried that her poor fingers were worked to the bone. When I decided to take my 4 pm nap I had resigned myself to the fact that whatever the outcome all I wanted out of labor was a healthy baby boy. I wasn't going to let myself worry anymore. I had the love and support of my family around me and I knew they were there to support me.
With that thought I drifted off to sleep; real sleep. I was having dreams and was fully relaxed. At 4:45 I woke up to feel pressure like I had to pee. I woke up Pat to tell him I thought the epidural had worn off because I felt like I had to pee. He kept saying, "Do you have to pee or poop?" because everyone told us that when I was ready to push I would have "poop pressure". I didn't think much of it, because I didn't have that. I had "pee pressure". Pat thought it would be best to go grab our nurse and tell her what was going on. Moments later she came in to ask about what I was feeling. I assured her there was no "poop pressure" here. She thought it would be best to just check and see how things were going. She had just checked me prior to my nap and I was only 5cm and -2 station...

"YOU"RE 10 CM and THE BABY IS ALL THE WAY DOWN!!!!!!" she yelled out. We all couldn't believe it. She scrambled around the room getting things ready and Pat ran out to tell our family. I couldn't believe that in 45 minutes I had dilated 5cm and moved from -2 station through -1,0,+3,
+2 and now he was ready! I just kept thinking, "I guess I just needed a nap!" With that my mom and sister came in to give me a last minute hug and congratulations. I started bawling when I saw them. They looked so happy and relieved to know that I would get to have this baby vaginally after all! Immediatly, I thought that I should probably tie my hair up tight (I thought I'd be pushing for hours since he took so long to progess through the first stage of labor). My sister offered to brush out my hair and put a bun on top of my head, but it wasn't feeling right so I used my abdominal muscles to push my head off the bed so that we could comb all the knots out of the back. Well...
That must have been exactly what the baby needed because my family left a few minutes later and the nurse placed my legs in the stir ups. As she did, she yelled, "Oh my gosh! He has a lot of hair! He is crowning now!" My family had only been in the room five minutes and Jack was dying to get out! I started to laugh. I couldn't believe this day! I couldn't believe the emotional and physical roller coaster I had been on. I was so happy all I could do was crack up, but the nurse yelled, "Don't laugh. Seriously, you can't laugh. The doctor isn't here yet and this baby is ready to come out!" Nurses were scrambling around the room and bringing in supplies for delivery. My doctor said he was only 6 minutes away and we didn't have to wait much longer. Ten minutes later he called back to say there was an accident at the intersection before the hospital and if it didn't clear up soon he was going to leave his car and run. Everyone was looking out the window of the hospital to see if they could spot his car and the accident. 10 minutes later he was running into the room out of breath. He too couldn't believe how this day had gone! I said, "See, good things come to those who wait, Dr. P".

He got everything in order and then the nurse told me that she would help me by telling me when and how to push. I took in a deep breath and got ready to push. We cycled through two rounds of pushing and with one break in between to help "stretch" the area. In under 10 minutes total, John Everett "Jack" Handrahan was born at 5:41 p.m on Wednesday October 20, 2010.

I can't believe he is here. I can't believe how different and beautiful and amazing he is compared to how I imagined. I can't believe how different his birth story went then I "planned" and I can't believe how amazing it all was. Jack's birth story was truly a miracle. Everyone thought I would need a c-section. No one thought he would progress so slowly and then progress so quickly in 45 minutes. I was truly amazed. That is the only way to describe it.

When they handed him to me and I saw my son for the first time I felt like he'd been a part of our lives forever. Really. He was 28 years in the making but always a part of me. Pat and I couldn't be happier and although it is scary, and amazing, and nerve racking, birth is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced. I love the way it happened, even if it wasn't what I "planned".

My Doula (Michelle) and I

After my epidural!!!! I can smile again!

Our Family