postpartum take two

I thought this time around I might skip the postpartum blues but ever pessimistic I asked for a prescription upon discharge from the hospital. I began taking it immediately. I felt great for the first couple of weeks but as everyone slowly got back to work and into their normal routines, as the days alone with babies got longer and longer due to Pat's horrific school, soccer and graduate school schedules that feeling slowly crept back. That deep, dark overwhelming, on-the- verge of panic feeling seeped in...and stayed. Irratiable, annoyed and wanting to punch Pat every time I saw him became the norm. It didn't help that he was only here for an hour before bed each night either. It's easy to blame everything on someone in your mind when they're not there in person to defend themselves.

For my friends who have had these feelings after I was out of the woods so to speak last time I called it the "after -the -baby -bump -BUMP". It is a wild, confusing and difficult time that lasts until your baby is around 10 months. It is then that you start to feel like yourself again, you start to remember how to handle all of the changes and most importantly you start to feel those warm fuzzy feelings for your partner again. You know the kind that doesn't make you want to blurt out, "Why are you making that bottle soooooo slow! Gah!" 

For those of you just starting on this journey of motherhood and have been previously accused of having a mood disorder I assure you that you will get through it, but you must be vigilant. You have to let your friends, family and husband know when you feel too overwhelmed or those feelings are getting worse. You have to try and return phone calls ( although you don't want to), meet a friend for dinner (although you feel so tired) and you must keep talking to your partner about the way you feel( although you just want to pin things on pinterest instead). Isolating yourself only makes things worse and more profound. 

Oh...it might help to bathe regularly as well.

A nightly cocktail (limit yourself though) doesn't hurt either. Breath. You only have 8 more months until the end of the tunnel!