The Best Present...

 "Its braver to be Clark Kent then it is to be Super Man."
    - Momastery Ted X

I think I may have mentioned that I grapple with anxiety. Particularly in social situations. I always have. Unlike those who have this issue and revert into themselves...I revert out. So I understand when others struggle with that as well. I understand that social situations take bravery. I realize it's sometimes harder to show up as yourself versus the person you think people are asking you to be. But showing up is the hard part in life.

This weekend we celebrated a huge accomplishment in our little family. Being brave, sticking to a plan and supporting each other through graduate school. For this we needed to throw a huge celebration as much for Patrick's hard work as for our determination to get through it together. There was a long list of people we needed to include in this celebration. Friends and Family members who fell by the wayside due to our hectic schedules and our need to have laser like focus on accomplishing our dreams.  Friends and Family who understood that not seeing them as much over the past 2.5 years was for a reason and loving, supporting and encouraging us anyway.

Thanks for showing up.

The people that brought themselves out on a stormy Saturday night to hang out for a few hours and have some bbq are the same faces that have been there supporting us during all of our big milestones (weddings, births, baptisms...) and continue to guide us through. I talked with a lot of Pat and my old friends and it felt amazing to be surrounded by them.

I realized though that showing up in life is hard for some of us to do. I am often the one that struggles with "showing up" in life. I become anxious, nervous and sick to my stomach at the thought of large, uncomfortable social gatherings and I've been one to make an excuse and not come when the thought is too unbearable. It's not always the social aspect that makes me anxious, but the underlying fears I still grapple with. Feeling too fat or not having the right outfit or  a concern that someone is still mad at me for not showing up to the last event or facing someone that makes me self-conscious by default not by their own doing. Whatever the excuse maybe the fear is always there as I am sure it is with some of you as well.

Showing up is a gesture that goes unnoticed and  "un"applauded, but is never unappreciated by those you show up for.  Showing up for life means more than just attending an event you RSVP'd to. Showing up for life is a step towards doing the right thing for someone else. Its honoring your commitments towards others. It's putting yourself out there when you feel vulnerable, scared and nervous.

Its showing someone in action that you ARE there for them.
Its RSVPing to someone's life.

Pat and I talked Sunday morning about those who came out despite the extreme neglect of many relationships over the years with those friends. I thought about how even though the night started off with severe thunderstorms, sleep-fighting babies who were hard to leave with sitters, other more attractive commitments and being worn out from their own lives people came and gave us the best present Patrick could ask for. Their commitment to him and their friendship.
Thank you for surrounding him with that.
Thank you for showing up.