Thank You

I wanted to write a post all weekend but the time just kept getting away from me. Thank you so much for your thoughts on my last blog. I was really stressed by Friday night and was feeling terrible for even writing that I was unhappy. I felt like a "bad mom" for not being in total newborn bliss. After reading all your comments on blogger, facebook and email I instantly started to feel better knowing I wasn't "alone". I kept thinking I was doing something wrong since he was so fussy and I was trying everything short of banging my head against the wall. Every time he cries like that it feels like a little of my confidence is being chipped away. After hearing all of your stories I know that sometimes there are explainable reasons for a fussy baby besides not knowing what to do all the time.

Having Pat home all weekend really helped as well. I told him all of my thoughts on Friday night and he really listened to what I had to say. He basically said the same thing that all of you said: that this is just a phase and things will get better. He realized too that I was utterly exhausted and in need of some rest. Friday night (even though he worked all week and was tired too) he let me sleep when Jack fussed in the night and jumped out of the bed to take care of him. He even put Jack's bassinet on his side of the bed so that he'd be the first to reach him. I still of course did the 3 am feeding and burping, but he took over after that and settled him back down for bed.
Saturday was the real turning point in feeling better for both Jack and I. I noticed him being a little less fussy since I wasn't so stressed. The morning was touch and go with me still feeling slightly overwhelmed. I gave Jack his first real bath and it went great! He didn't really enjoy being totally naked, but after wards he was so calm and relaxed as I slathered his little body with lotion and got him dressed for the day.
I felt my confidence SLOWLY coming back and had a better outlook on the day. My good friend (whom I known since I was 4) was in town so once Pat got home we packed up the diaper bag and headed out for lunch to meet her. It was so great catching up with her and filling her in on some of my "concerns" from the past two weeks. Laughing and talking and not being judged really helped. By the time we left little Jack was ready to eat, so we rushed home and fed him. We settled in for the night (at 5p.m.) and just made dinner and relaxed while watching t.v and holding Jack kangaroo style.
That night I fed him before bed and settled in for another good night...only to have him wake up at midnight and again at 1 am. Pat got up with him and tried to settle him for the first two times. Then at 1:30 Jack exploded into tears again. I tried lying him on his stomach against my chest. This usually calms him down immediately but to no avail. I didn't want Pat to be kept up so I took Jack downstairs to the family room to try and settle him down. Nothing worked. I forgot about the time change so things seemed to be standing still. At 3am I feed him at his normal feeding time (not until the next day did I realize it was an hour late). We finally settled back into bed around 5:30 a.m. (4:30 day light saving time). Pat gave Jack a bottle (of pumped breast milk) and let me sleep in. I got five hours a sleep...IN A ROW! I felt like a whole new woman! Sunday we just relaxed as family and hung around the house. I took an afternoon nap ( so nice) and then we headed over to my mom's for Sunday dinner. We had pork roast, sweet potatoes, corn bread and fresh green beans (YUM!) and Boston Cream pie. What a great way to end the weekend!
I felt so relaxed after my weekend and felt a renewed sense of confidence as I headed into this week. Sunday night Jack slept until 4:15 and then after his feeding he slept until 8:30. He obviously was exhausted from his previous week too. Then he was wide awake and alert from 8:30a until 1:30 p.m. We played and laughed and I talked to him and he listened. It was a great morning. Then him and I both took a nap until Pat got home.
I still have moments where my emotions get the best of me and I burst into tears. I wish I would have known that the post-pregnancy hormones would be this bad. I believe Bethany Frankel tried to tell me...but I didn't listen. Consider yourself warned.

Unhappy about his FIRST real tubby

Not Really liking Tubby Time

He loved being wrapped up in his towel though

All 23 inches of him!